The first time her father made an improper advance on Toni Maguire, she was six years old. When she finally built up the courage to tell her mother what had happened, her mother told her never to speak of the matter again. This memoir tells the story of an idyllic childhood that masked a terrible truth.

This heart-wrenching memoir from Toni Maguire tells the deeply moving story of an idyllic childhood that masked a terrible truth. Underneath her mother's gentility and her father's roguish charm lay horrifying secrets, which eventually led to their only child's near destruction. The first time her father made an improper advance on Toni, she was six years old. When she finally built up the courage to tell her mother what had happened, her mother told her never to speak of the matter again. When the assaults grew worse her father warned her not to tell her mother, or anyone else, because they would blame her and wouldn't love her any more. It had to remain 'our secret.' At fourteen, Toni fell pregnant by her father and for the first time shared her terrible secret. But just as her father predicted, everyone blamed her. Although he was eventually sent to prison, Toni continued to suffer, almost dying from a botched late abortion. She found herself judged and rejected by her family, teachers and friends, forced into a world of depression and madness with only herself to rely on if she ever hoped to build a happy life.

'Hard to put down !. I truly felt I was living her life alongside her, being taken back in time. I could almost smell the honeysuckle and soda bread but also feel the dread and fear.' Jane Elliott, author of the No.1 bestseller 'The Little Prisoner'